Opel blew the budget on Ms. Schiffer, because there’s certainly nothing left for anything else. You know, like production values, creativity, wit …
I feel for Claudia, I really do. Times must be tough in the Schiffer household, because she really must have needed the money for this. Each time I see the ad on television, I fight the urge to hurl the nearest available blunt object TV-wards. Surely no advertising agency with a shred of dignity would willingly put their name to drivel of this magnitude, yet someone did. Did they start with the tagline; and work back from there? What does it mean anyway? ‘It’s a German‘. Surely a car cannot be a German; after all, wouldn’t being a German denote sentience? Is Opel suggesting their cars are not merely paragons of reliability but also capable of independent thought? That they are in fact, the living automotive embodiment of the statuesque Ms. Schiffer? And if indeed my new Opel Astra was ‘a German‘, or indeed Claudia Schiffer cast in metal, glass and thermoplastics what sort of life-adjustments would this entail on a day-to-day basis?
[I’m leaving space here for you to insert a hilarious German stereotype of your own choosing. I couldn’t think of any and frankly I don’t see why I have to do all the work round here – especially on a Sunday…]
Now I could go on about the turgid dialogue, the frankly ridiculous set up where two millennials discuss moisturiser, beard maintenance, the price of sourdough bread these days and their recent dreams over a coffee, while their wives/girlfriends are out bearbaiting or watching the footie down the pub, but frankly, I have neither the energy nor inclination. I will however add as a postscript that Astra sales fell 10% last year. Good.