Making Up is Hard to Do

Britain’s decision to leave the EU has rung alarm bells throughout the industry, but PSA is lovebombing Blighty with this: the DS 3 Puretech 110 Givenchy Le Makeup.

Image: dsautomobiles
Image: dsautomobiles

Since Britain’s engaged and informed electorate voted for Brexit last month, a quiet but concerted campaign is being waged by our European cousins to lure us back. Most of this has been met with slavering rebuke, but like a patient and loving parent soothing a petulant child with too much sugar in its bloodstream, efforts at rapprochement continue. The latest being this.

So what in the name of Gove is a DS 3 Puretech 110 Givenchy Le Makeup anyway? Well, if you’d sit still and stop fidgeting with your now slightly threadbare ‘Vote Leave’ flag I’ll tell you. While on the surface of things the DS 3 Puretech 110 Givenchy Le Makeup is simply a fairly vacuous special edition aimed at fashionistas, but in fact masks a far more sophisticated mission; to tap into Brexit’s burgeoning buyer’s remorse and lure us back into the EU’s silk negligee-clad arms. To this end, the DS 3 Puretech 110 Givenchy Le Makeup comes with a unique paint finish, called Opaline white, which is matte-look with a sandy texture; the latter aimed at evoking memories of the noble sacrifice of British servicemen on the beaches of Normandy. Additionally, the roof and wing mirrors are finished in contrasting purple paint; purple of course being the colour of forgiveness and reconciliation.

Inside, a high-level 7” touchscreen controls the infotainment, carrying specially tailored subliminal messages that flash up things like; “It’s not you, it’s us, or Can’t we discuss this rationally?” The audio system too has been pre-loaded with thought-provoking tracks including Jacque Brel’s “Ne Me Quitte Pas”, the Beatles “We Can Work It Out” and Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together.” Nothing has been left to chance – even the standard-fit Givenchy-branded cosmetics play a crucial role – the mascara providing an appropriately tear stained look no matter how carefully applied. And in true Derek Zoolander fashion, the DS 3 Puretech 110 Givenchy Le Makeup has supreme difficulty in turning right…

Oh all right then, I lied. The DS 3 Puretech 110 Givenchy Le Makeup is not some demented attempt to un-ring a bell, but in fact a vacuous special edition aimed at fashionistas. And while it would be easy (and perhaps even amusing) to sneer at PSA’s attempts at flogging DS 3’s, you really can’t argue with their logic. Because, while we’ve been busy waving our pathetic little flags and congratulating ourselves on getting one over johnny foreigner, the motor industry is getting on with the rather more serious business of staying in business.

Author: Eóin Doyle

Founding Editor. [Dis]content Provider.

1 thought on “Making Up is Hard to Do”

  1. After yesterday’s article I wrote that maybe Brexit will not change much for the UK industry. Today I read that Ford expect Brexit to cost them a couple of billion in the coming years. Bridgend or Dagenham or both are at risk. Add the R&D centre in Basildon to that – why have a second design facility in Europe, one that only existed because Ford UK used to have its own lines of cars and made them locally.
    If PSA still have any UK presence, they won’t soon.
    Brexit was supposedly about freedom. I suppose when Ford’s plants close that notional freedom will look even more unconvincing. I wonder how many people employed at Ford voted for Brexit.

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