Theme : Film – DTW Recommends

DTW recommends some of its favourite films.

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BORDERLESS LIMITS : When feisty Australian ex-lifeguard Lindi Jackson (Nicole Kidman), on holiday in Europe after her marriage break-up, gets mistaken for a British businesswoman and offered the top job at French car maker Citroën, it looks like a recipe for mayhem. However Lindi vows that she will make a success of the ailing firm by introducing the element most missing from today’s cars …. FUN! But it’s never going to be plain sailing. As if the stuffed shirts in the boardroom and the constant harassment from a weird bunch calling themselves Citroënistes isn’t enough, Lindi is visited by the ghost of André Citroën (a tour de force characterisation by Johnny Depp). After a hilarious bunch of wacky misunderstandings, Lindi and André form an uneasy alliance, but will they be able to put the joie back into the chevrons? DTW VIEW : Absolutely Chucklesome! Great Fun!

HOLD ON TIGHT : Set in the 1960s, when Don Stokes (Idris Elba) becomes head honcho in the sales department of British vehicle maker, Leyland, he is shocked to discover that the inhabitants of island paradise Cuba have to walk everywhere because they have no buses. Despite red-tape from British officialdom and intimidation from a shadowy American CIA operative (Idris Elba) he vows to send as many buses as he can to Cuba. After meeting charismatic Cuban leader Fidel Castro (Idris Elba) he brokers a deal and the people of Cuba are finally made mobile. DTW VIEW : Inspiring, though Elba was underused.

THE END OF HISTORY : Dismayed at the disappearance of traditional top of the line Jaguars from the roads of England, simple Kent countryman Nigel Farage (Eddie Redmayne) vows to see their return. Singlehandedly he lobbies parliament with his “Give us back our Sovereigns” banner, only to have his intentions mistaken and his message hijacked by dark factions. Things get out of hand as Britain leaves the EU, destabilising Europe and causing a huge confrontation between Russia and the USA. In the aftermath of the ensuing nuclear conflict, Nigel finds a pristine 1997 LWB Sovereign in the ruins of a Mayfair classic car dealer. The final scene sees him living contentedly in the back seat reflecting “It’s amazing how ideas start out, isn’t it?” DTW VIEW : World changing!

MY BEAUTIFUL MIND : An illuminating insight into the ultra-competitive, no-holds-barred world of automotive philosophy. This docu-drama follows the brilliant but self-effacing Gorden Wagener (played by himself) as he evolves a totally new system of aesthetic thought, Sensual Purity, and introduces it to a world stage. Decried at first, Gorden’s good-natured persistence finally breaks down all resistance. DTW VIEW : Very humbling!

SON OF BORGWARD : In this deft, sci-fi horror fantasy, a group of Chinese scientists discover a long-lost brand name. Using their ingenuity they revive it, but something goes wrong and the whole process runs out of control. In a race against time, a special ops team from the Borgward Drivers Club, led by Robertas Parazitas (Tom Cruise) is dispatched to prevent the process from spawning a monster truck that will crush the Earth. DTW VIEW : If you can get past the disbelief that anyone would revive Borgward, then this is entertaining hokum, though Cruise doesn’t convince as Parazitas.

CAN YOU SPLIT A TWENTY? : Comedy heist caper. When Johnny Towers (Nigel Farage, incredibly convincing in his first acting role) tells his three drinking pals, Nicko, Petey and Jon-Boy, that he can get them a whole car company for £10, they think he’s joking but, before they know what’s happened, they are off on a rollercoaster ride at the helm of the Rover Group. A heartwarming tale of the victory of greed over incompetence. DTW VIEW : Got any more car companies to spare?

CALLUM! : No-one stands in the way of hard-drinking, two-fisted Ian Callum (Jason Statham) as he sets out to force his way to the top of the automotive design industry. A series of head-on conflicts sees competitors such as Chris Bangle (Steven Seagal), Laurens van den Acker (Hulk Hogan) and Robert Opron (Jean-Claude Van Damme) crumble as he continues his inexorable rise. Only one thing is left standing in his way. His inability to style decent wing vents. DTW VIEW : Incredibly realistic. You can taste the peat.

2 thoughts on “Theme : Film – DTW Recommends”

  1. Sean, I’m sorry for having to be blunt about this – but you’re a genius.

    I’m off to the cinema now, there’s a My Beautiful Mind matinée at my local cinema, and I need to get some cheesy nachos before the show’s on.

    1. Seconded. Although I see Gerard (Man of Today) Butler more in the role of ‘Callum!’

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