LA Motor Show Shorts 4

Ah, the nuances of form. So, you want your SUV to be big and strong. But strong like what? 

2017 Subaru Viviz-7: source
2017 Subaru Viviz-7: source

Like iron or like diamond? One of those is able to dent and the other smashes to bits. Subaru got their fingers burned with the Tribeca which exuded a friendly gormlessness. This crystalline vehicle, supposedly a concept, is like the Incredible Hulk to the Tribeca’s Dr Bruce Banner. There was an episode of the Hulk where he didn’t appear – the focus was on the journalist searching for him. They got four years out of that concept. I had to look that up on Wikipedia. Back to the design: semantically, it’s wrong. The lamps are fragile and the scuff plate on the valence is going to be knocked off at the first site of real off-roading.

2017-subaru-viziv-7-marked-up

If you want to see the main design details, here is an annotated diagram. They are phoning these SUVs in now. Has AutoDesk a button which can just add cladding, wheel diameter increases and chamfers? It’s a plug-in sold to GM, Ford and now VW and Suburu, isn’t it?

They used to make such charming cars, Subaru. This thing is gross. I’d love to offer more nuanced analysis. But I can’t. It’s Friday.

Author: richard herriott

I like anchovies. I dislike post-war town planning.

10 thoughts on “LA Motor Show Shorts 4”

  1. From Tribeca to this tragedy. Age and time has, to my mind, been kind to the Tribeca. I can find no kind words for this abomination. It’s such a leap in the wrong direction that I feel Subaru (or FHI) has now outdone Citroën (or PSA) in disillusioning me about the level of empathy I have with it as a marque.

  2. Whilst I agree with you on all points, what you really need to ask is this:

    1. Is it massive?
    2. If it isn’t massive, does it look massive?
    3. Is it ritzy?
    4. Does a washing machine fit in the back?
    5. Will it be available at an achievable monthly payment?

    Remove the horrible concept lights and squint, and the Viviz-7 looks just like every other CUV on the road. It will sell. Probably only in North America, but it will sell.

  3. Just returned from Trump land and this type vehicle seemed to be the new standard car except for those wanting an open box on the back. Indeed the trend has even been taken up this side of the pond!
    Reminds me of early motorist who desired closed cars they could walk into and sit with their hats on as this is what they are shouting from their perches today, except the hat part.

  4. Down here in the shaky isles of NZ, one of, if not the most popular new vehicles is the Ford Ranger ute (pick up). Like most other similar vehicles of this era, these things are huge. Wide, tall and over 5 metres long, hardly the most practical things, and won’t fit in many home garages.

    1. I understand NZ is rather suburban in its style of life, a mix (as I imagine it) of the US and Great Britain. It is easy to imagine utes bravely clambering over rugged landscapes before retreating to the shopping mall and then back home. Anyway, utes don´t mind the cold, do they?

  5. Good Lord. If this is gross, what is the mind-numbingly awful Toyota C-HR? Yet the assembled multitude gave that LSD-inspired tiny car perched above giant spats for wheelwells the benefit of the doubt. I cannot imagine why. I really cannot. It is the definition of super gross penned by certifiably addled brains.

    The other thing is, why criticize the Subaru for its not very off-road cred when the likelihood of trundling something this large through muddy ditches is something only Australians would do? It’s a people carrier, just like the VW Atlas is and nobody here gave a thought to the VW’s off-road capability or that of the Stelvio.

    Just like all the other 7 passenger CUVs the Subaru’s meant to appeal to urbanites with fantasies of driving down a gravel road every second year – something we did because we had to every day with Ford Anglias 50 years ago round these parts and had no trouble. The Subaru has high seating because people like my sister-in-law at 5foot2 feels safer perched 4 feet off the ground for no sane reason whatsoever. The same insanity has gripped almost everyone here in North America where logic is something everyone else doesn’t possess, and where actual minivans or people movers as you lot call them are a declining segment because they don’t look the part to people without a clue.

    The actual production vehicle, if it follows Subaru’s past habits, will have all the excitement of the VW Atlas, with protuberances. Because all new Japanese cars have protuberances.

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