Scream If You Want To Go Faster

If you have to ask how much it costs to look this cheap you probably can’t afford it.

The Mansory Black Edition near some mountains. Context innit? All images: Autoguide

All of a sudden Bentayga makes sense. Bentayga exists, I now realise, to provide a frame upon which the spectacularly insecure can hang the neediest portion of their id – and in the case above have it rendered in ‘Collage Edition’ carbon fibre. Behold the Mansory Black Edition – the ultimate expression of Bentayga-ness.

Breathtaking wouldn’t you say?

Isn’t it wonderful? It’s quite impossible to take a vehicle like this seriously. Because, no matter how bad a day you’ve had – see one of these on the street and all you can do is laugh – and I mean really laugh. So yes, the Bentayga Black Edition is in fact a service to society.

Let’s do some off-roading! Oh…

Who’da thunk it?

Author: Eóin Doyle

Founding Editor. Content Provider.

15 thoughts on “Scream If You Want To Go Faster”

  1. I can’t help but notice that Mansory have chosen to fit their car with a flat bottom steering wheel. Since, in the Bentayga’s favour, it is a spacious vehicle, I doubt whether ordinary mortals like me would benefit from this.

    However, I recollect the story that Hollywood star Clark Gable, would always turn slightly (and unnecessarily) sideways when walking through doors in order to give the impression that his shoulders were too broad to go through straight. Likewise, does the flat bottomed wheel suggest that the Mansory’s potential owner (and I think I’m not the one stereotyping here to suggest he’s a man) is so well endowed in what is coyly called the ‘trouser department’ that he needs that extra clearance? Mansory – Well-Endowed Cars For Well-Endowed Men.

  2. I am surprised at the number of people who have too much money. That is the only reason I can fathom as to why people have cocaine habits, or would take a perfectly expensive Bent-tiger and throw even more cash at it. Just the other day I was following a Range Rover Sport, not an invisible device at the best of times, fitted with a bulbous body kit and massive chrome wheels. It looked like a Hot Wheels fantasy car, the kind of thing that would appeal to a grotesque, spoiled man-child whose every passing whim is indulged. I was almost tempted to ram into the car Kamikaze style, such an offence it was to what remaining ideals I have of good taste and basic human decency.

    1. It is as if these are created not to fulfill any need, save that of deliberately proving that you are so loaded that you can spend your money on useless stuff and have so much left over that you feel no remorse. The difference between the Bent-Sory and coke is that it can take several years before the drug habit takes its toll. With the Mans-Ayga it’s like waking up after the first snort and finding that your nose has already collapsed. As someone is supposed to have once said after they visited Ike Turner’s house – Jeez, I didn’t know you could blow a million bucks at Woolworth. Do Mansory do conversions on Nissan Cubes?

  3. Back in Devil’s Advocate mode, from an interview I read a few years ago, Mansory actually produces their stuff to a very high standard, and I have to admit a sneaking approval of people who do things well, even when they’re bad things – Eoin, who has an inkling of my day job, might confirm why that might be the case. Also, if we’re talking about crimes against taste, I’d point out that much of what Mansory does is superficial and, with a bit of effort, reversible. What Gorden Wagener does goes too deep.

    1. And also, bearing in mind most balanced folk’s attitude towards the standard Bentley, might we stand the maxim on end and say that “you can’t blemish a turd”.

    2. I had a word with some mechanics at a super luxury garage, who explained that they roll their eyes whenever some Mansory concoction drives up for service.

      According to them, the level of craftsmanship is abysmal. Cables aren’t properly fitted, anything that’s invisible is done in very sloppy fashion. They had kinder words for the likes of Novitec, by the way, so it wasn’t a response to anyone else meddling with ‘their’ cars.

    3. When I recollect more, the interview was with Kourosh Mansory, and it was he who made the point about good craftsmanship. I suppose he would say that, wouldn’t he?

    1. Oh, so that’s how they are going to sell it? At first glance I figured it had to be a camouflaged pre-production mule…

    1. I also thought it was disguised. Oh dear.
      I am loathe to opine about taste as I have found that as I get older (I wouldn’t say mature) I have become more attracted to simplicity, although I cannot ever believe that I would have appreciated this sort of thing. Perhaps it is when you believe that being ostentatiously obnoxious is your rebellion against society, against the established conventions of taste and form, that this sort of thing appeals? Isn’t it embarrassing to say “up yours” when you are really saying “I put it up mine”?

  4. There are two approaches to luxury: reduction or ornamentation. The former aims for an almost Zen-like simplicity; the money is spent in design and production. Think of a Tom Ford suit, an Apple product or a minimalist house. The latter aims for visual complexity, bringing together traditional artisan crafts to create richness and depth. Think of a Regency interior or a Breitling watch. Fashion is cyclical, of course, and we seem to be moving from a period of the former towards the latter.

    Crucially, both approaches require a judicious eye and the employment of good taste on the part of the designer and commissioner. The Victorians favoured ornamentation, creating collections of art and cultural artefacts and filling home libraries with science and literature books bought by the foot. This was its own type of consumption, of course, but the appearance of being enlightened was everything to them, as that is what their society favoured. Nowadays status is derived purely by conspicuous consumption. As a society we have lost the ability to perceive any value other than the monetary. Nobody builds libraries these days; instead you must be seen lolling about behind the wheel of the most enormous luxury SUV that money can buy. Appending the vehicle with body addenda simply moves the status messaging from the strident to the grotesque.

    1. I was brought up with a fair amount of contempt for Victorian society and design, something I’ve reassessed as I got older. Although there’s still much about the Victorian age that was indefensible and hypocritical, it is interesting to compare the way things have gone this Century and, especially, the way they seem to be going.

      Excessive ornamentation is back in fashion, as is the idea that government doesn’t have an obligation to look after those who, it is viewed, can’t or won’t look after themselves. But, say what you will about them, for many rich Victorians, in the absence of a caring state, philanthropy was a duty not an excuse to grandstand with Rhianna. And there was a feeling that, unless you were improving the cultural milieu by pillaging a temple or two, reasonable restraint should be shown in your personal lifestyle.

      Would Mansoury have got a living 150 years ago tarting up the odd coach and four?

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