The Concept Z4 has landed and it’s mad as hell.
BMW have released photos and a rather toe-curling video for their new concept Z4, said to provide broad clues as to how next year’s production Z4 will look. Good grief, it’s an angry looking thing, isn’t it?
Here are some words. They’re lifted from BMW’s website, (verbatim) so I take no responsibility. Apart from the annotated comments of course, which are mine.
“The BMW Concept Z4 epitomises boldness and sportiness to re-occupy leadership in the roadster segment.” Interesting choice of words here. ‘Re-occupy’. It sounds vaguely militaristic while at the same time tacitly acknowledging the Bavarian car maker hasn’t exactly set the sector alight in the past.
“It’s [sic] bold sculpted lines combine perfectly with its wedge-shaped design and retracted bonnet to create an athletic exterior that clearly shows the BMW Concept Z4’s roadster heritage.” Roadster heritage? Really? Apart from the Anders Warming car, and the earlier one with the funny doors, the Z-series has been a little on the tepid side, wouldn’t you agree?
“Designed to humble the road with a low-slung profile which hugs the asphalt.” How exactly does one humble the road I wonder? Surely the act of driving a vehicle on its surface is in itself demeaning? Unless of course the road actively enjoys being used in this fashion – in which case it surely wouldn’t find it all that humbling. Can somebody help me out here?
“Large air inlets and outlets combined with a flat, short and sharp bonnet help form the basis of a muscular and well-defined exterior accentuated with bold sculpted flanks”. BMW must be especially proud of the Z4’s bonnet, given the number of adjectives they’ve flung at it, although it looks fairly run of the mill to my eyes. Flat, short, sharp and retracted. Any ideas? No. None here either.
“The lower and bolder double kidney grilles features a honeycomb-like design and adds to the feeling of athleticism that has been so well articulated.” Note the blind assumption that this feeling of athleticism has been ‘well articulated’. What I’m prepared to concede is that it has been articulated. I’m sorry, that’s about as far as I’m prepared to commit at this time. “All finished in a visually striking Energetic Orange paint keeping the spotlight on the roadster everywhere it goes.” So that’s good.
Adrian Van Hooydonk, Head of BMW Group Design quite naturally was on hand to add a few meaningless phrases, which I append for the sake of completeness. “The BMW Concept Z4 shows the new BMW design language in all details and from every perspective.” Oh goody. Word to Mr. Van Hooydonk: Let’s get a move on with the next BMW design iteration, shall we? We’re about done with this one, thanks. Mind you, in his defence it’s his job to spoon us this warm drivel and at least he’s (so far) refrained from Wagnarian levels of self delusion.
Oh and speaking of which, I take it you’ve seen the latest from the Blessed One’s Maybach dream factory. Sensual, pure and I fancy, somewhat akin to the putative customers it’s aimed at: bloated, self-entitled and from the face of things, really, really narked-off.
For the sake of balance, and because it amuses me, I include the following admittedly slightly gnomic words straight from the Blessed One’s lips. (Praise be upon them…) “Breathtaking proportions combined with a luxurious ‘haute couture’ interior help to create the ultimate experience”. It’s difficult to be certain, but as far as I can gather he was describing the car rather than his latest ‘Derelicte’ sartorial expression.
Expect a production variant of the Maybach concept in approximately never.