Driventowrite is in cheeky, quizzical mood today. So, a gauntlet will be placed carefully and politely at your collective feet.
After all the hard work and testing, the result of the collective labour of hundreds of women and men over several years, every car gets summed up in a few short words. The following is a selection of verdicts on cars produced in recent years. Can you guess which cars the descriptions relate to? I can say one thing, the images above and below are not a clue. They simply nice sorts of pictures to attract your eye.
1.” Our choice: A base Yaris. Or save up for a Kangoo and do the job properly.”
2. “This second edition adds mature sharpness and stong detailing. Otherwise it’s a car you like and respect rather than adore because the dynamics are well-honed but not quite so sharp as the best of the French…”
3. “Our choice: 1.6 is an absolutely cracking mainstream hatch, or the (…X…) for proper hot hatch performance.”
4. “Our choice: unless you need the space buy an Astra or Focus. Nice estate though.”
5. “Our choice: nearly new (…X…) worth considering, but try a Saab 9-5 instead.”
6. “Our choice: In this narrowest of nichces try the Nissan Terrano [instead].”
7. “They called it […X…]. They should have called it the Cheryl. Cute, but short of panache. Blame its upbringing.”
8. “Lovely little 1.0 litre turbo, very refined and vastly improved all around . But it’s still an […X… ]. Need we say more.”
9. “Yes, yawn, it’s the new […X… ]. Trouble is this one really take the fight to the […Y… ]. On-board connectivity is superb.”
10. “Say hello to your next company car. Comfortable cruiser, quieter than before and entirely unmemorable”.
11. “A car that proudly wears its cheapness on its sleeve. Do you like unsophisticated pretentiousness. You will love this.”
12. “New lights and bumpers, plus on-board wi-fi to distract passengers from the wallowy handling and droning engines.”