So Curve The Dark Shadows Of The Wintered Beams

Whoah, Nellie! It’s another Wolseley photo. That means it’s either an article on Wolseley or a Friday quiz challenge.

Irrelevant image of a Wolseley: source

To make the challenge remotely soluble, I will reveal that the cars in question are the 1975 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT, the Ford Capri 3000 Ghia and the Audi 100S coupe. So far so good. Many  of you may think you may have been able to solve it already.

Well, the answer is not “the 1975 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT, the Ford Capri 3000 Ghia and the Audi 100S coupe”. That would be too easy. No, the next part of the puzzle is to try to match the quotes below to the cars. The bits of text are taken from a multi-vehicle test from a leading British car magazine.

Performance:

Despite the engine size of the ((name of car)), its performance is not exactly satisfying. It feels torquey and gutsy and it is, giving a reasonable amount of top speed, a comfortable amount of acceleration and a lot of flexibility from low speeds in high gears.

Is it A) the Ford, B) the Alfetta, or C) the 100S.

197 5 Alfa Romeo Alfetta: source

Styling.

“Take the ((name of car)): it admirably demonstrates (its maker’s) passion for conventional design in the face of all odds.”

Is it A) the Ford; B) the Alfetta or C) the 100S?

Handling and roadholding

“When you aim the the ((name of car)) at a corner the true nature of the beast is revealed and it is not a pretty sight.”

Is it A) the Capri, B) the Alfetta or C) the 1ooS?

Driver Appeal.

“Superficially, the ((name of car)) has a lot of it. The interior looks inviting, the instrumentation is extensive and easy to read and although the steering column is a couple of inches too long, the driving position is good. The let down comes once the vehicle is on the move.”

Is it A) the Capri, B) the Alfetta, or C) the 1oos?

Comfort

“Part of the ((name of car))’s problem is that the suspension is too soft for good handling and to floppy to inspire a great deal of confidence.”

Is it A) the Capri, B) the Alfetta, or C) the 100s?

Verdict.

“If you believe in cars that are uncompromisingly engineered to provide the best possible dynamic qualities, the ((name of car)) has to be a bargain.”

Is it A) the Capri, B) the Alfetta, or C) the 100s?

I look forward to a small amount of head-scratching and discussion concerning which cars were discussed in the article.

Author: richard herriott

I like anchovies. I dislike post-war town planning.

One thought on “So Curve The Dark Shadows Of The Wintered Beams”

  1. Sadly, but not surprisingly given its state in the picture., that particular Wolseley appears to be no longer on the road. Tax expired in 2016 and no signs of an MoT.
    No, that’s not of even the slightest relevance to the quiz.

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