Disappointment Theme – Driven To Write

Sud by ‘Sud

Bringing it all back home.

There is a quality about Italy and Italian cars in particular that brings out the romantic in us all – and as we know, often to our cost, romance often impels us to carry out impetuous acts. Like driving from Lüneburg in Lower Saxony to Naples in a 45-year old motor car for example. And not just any 45-year old car, but an Alfa Romeo. Why? For a nice photograph and more to the point, to take the car back to its birthplace.

Some of you might know that a 1978 Alfasud Sprint entered our lives in 2014, supplementing a 1990 Alfa Spider — now departed. We purchased the Sprint partially restored and in sound, fully roadworthy condition. And while it wasn’t exactly the Alfa Romeo we had been looking for, (I was after a 1750 Berlina), we’ve had no regrets since. It’s not a daily driver, but we use it as a normal vehicle several times a week.

It’s nothing special to drive an old car, especially as the Sprint drives just like a modern one, despite being 45 years old. Yesterday for instance, our 17-year-old neighbour’s boy (who is currently learning to drive) sat behind the wheel for the first time. His comment: “Yes, a bit easier than in the tank I’m currently learning in, but it’s got everything you need”.

But sometimes having everything you need just isn’t enough and having already taken the Sprint on a most enjoyable 4000 km ‘Tour de France’ in 2022, my wife and I decided to embark upon a more ambitious and romantic mission. To Continue reading “Sud by ‘Sud”

Espace – The Final Frontier

Salut Grand-Austral, adieu Espace.

Established and trusted brand names are too valuable to be taken lightly or bandied about carelessly. Were this not so, why would businesses spend €millions dreaming up suitable examples, before market-testing them across global audiences, then expending years nurturing, marketing and developing them? Has Groupe Renault somehow missed a memo?

For decades now, Espace meant only one thing to those of an automotive bent. A large French monospace MPV — for many European motorists (and their passengers), the original (and best) of the species. Renault, as much by good fortune as outright bravery, got to market first with a product which would prove so utterly definitive that no other carmaker could Continue reading “Espace – The Final Frontier”

Running With Scissors [Part Five]

The pen is mightier…

The power of the written word can be sometimes overstated, although this is not a position the gentlemen of the press generally care to acknowledge. Certainly, a poor review can hurt a new product, but it usually takes more than an unfavourable report to fatally damage its prospects, just as it takes more than one breathless review to create a hit. But for the historian attempting to Continue reading “Running With Scissors [Part Five]”

Not For Sale: Car Museums

A sermon about why car museums are to be avoided if you like old cars.

Ford Sierra Laser. Image source: The Truth About Cars

_{Originally published on 31st January 2014, the editor has selected to re-issue this piece, partially because it carries a fine profile shot of a Ford Sierra (making it vaguely topical) but primarily because it is an amusing, well crafted article – even if the author’s principle argument is somewhat debatable.}

Every car museum I have visited in the last 2.25 decades has been a disappointment. Cars are inherently space-consuming selfish monsters and even when they are caught, killed and pinned to plinths this quality does not diminish. They need plenty of room, alive or dead. Alive, the car needs sufficient space for portly passengers to open the doors and affect egress without having to close the door behind them, at a minimum. And dead, in a museum without sufficient space, the car can’t be assessed properly. You need to stand back, fold your arms (essential) and try to Continue reading “Not For Sale: Car Museums”

Theme: Disappointment – Feline Gloomy

As our December theme chokes on the very last mince pie, we celebrate four decades of disappointment, brought to you by Jaguar.

Romance is dead. Image via carnewsmodel — Romance is dead. (c) carnewsmodel

It’s an emotion depressingly familiar to Jaguar enthusiasts from Burbank to Burnley. From the troubled post-Lyons era, the catastrophic BL years, the Egan Miracle, the Ford débâcle, to the current underwhelming JLR era. The big cat’s roaring again, the UK press delight in telling us, but is it really? Continue reading “Theme: Disappointment – Feline Gloomy”

Theme : Disappointment : BMW 335d X-Drive Touring

DTW is underwhelmed by the overwhelming.

I was recently treated to a lift in my boss’s 15-plate (actually, he has a personal plate on it), 335d X-Drive Touring (car model names are so stressful and exhausting these days), which he has had “chipped” by DMS to deliver an unfathomable amount of BHP and torque. Continue reading “Theme : Disappointment : BMW 335d X-Drive Touring”

Theme : Disappointment – The Remembrance Of Cars Passed

As is traditional after Christmas Day, we get reflective. So much time. So few cars.
About five years ago, before my memory began to fail me too much, I started a list of vehicles I had driven. By vehicles I meant cars, vans and motorcycles. I didn’t count more than one of any identifiable model (for instance I have driven dozens of Cortinas alone), though I used some discretion with vehicles that were substantially different by having, say, a smooth V6 instead of a wheezy inline 4. Since then, with various acquisitions and hire cars, I have now totalled 106 vehicles.

Continue reading “Theme : Disappointment – The Remembrance Of Cars Passed”

Theme : Disappointment – Cars & Sex

Is the search for Autoerotica doomed? We revive a post from DTW’s early days to find out.

My father was an old-school Freudian in his outlook. He wouldn’t miss a chance to make an association, and my obsession with cars was fertile ground. He pronounced that many cars were just phallic compensation symbols and I, in what I thought was a witty response, said that a phallus was just a compensation for not having a decent car – it sounded better when I was sixteen. Cars and Sex, Sex and Cars, they’re an old pairing, but I’ve never been entirely convinced. Continue reading “Theme : Disappointment – Cars & Sex”

Theme: Disappointment – Well, What Did You Expect?

Recent correspondence has hinted at the genre of car analogous to a band’s difficult second album.

Not the same, not very different: fordimages.net

Every one knows Kula Shaker’s second album was going to be a disappointment. It happens to a lot of bands. The musicians have a lifetime (say, 23 years) to work on the first album. Then they have about eight months to work on the second album, once the tour is done and the alcohol has been washed out of the system and the papers are signed on the Chiswick house they will have to sell a year or two later.

For some cars something similar applies. For various reasons, the manufacturer chances upon a hot new niche or just strikes it lucky with a particular formula of the same old thing. Then, with just six years to think it over, they launch a revised version that fails to Continue reading “Theme: Disappointment – Well, What Did You Expect?”

Theme: Disappointment – Being Driven

I think that society in general has a romantic notion about how nice it is to be driven – by a chauffeur in particular. Recent experiences have led me to feel that it’s rather a disappointment.

chauffeur driven — It’s not all glamour and mafiosi

Forgive me if this comes across as just a ruse to write about a problem I have been dealing with recently, but I feel it is worth a few lines. Six weeks ago, I ruptured by Achilles tendon (proof, if anyone reading needs it, that exercise is potentially harmful to you!), and I face another 5 weeks at least with my left lower leg in an Air Cast boot (a rather marvellous innovation, if not one you ever really want to have to experience). Continue reading “Theme: Disappointment – Being Driven”

Theme : Disappointment – All Steam & Mirrors

We look at a literal piece of Sixties vapourware – The Lear steam car

One person’s disappointment is always another person’s gratification. We have seen this over the past few years as various electrical vehicle projects have been announced. Many people have been open-minded about their feasibility, but many more have allowed other agendas to make them either blindly enthusiastic, whatever the scheme, or similarly antagonistic.

In the late 60s, the extra-urban EV was not a practical proposition in any way, unless it was followed by a trailer full of lead-acid batteries or a very long extension cord. The once-mooted gas turbine had come to nothing. However, the need to do something about the environmental effects of the internal combustion engine was on the agenda, so there was an impetus to look at other types of propulsion. Continue reading “Theme : Disappointment – All Steam & Mirrors”

Theme : Disappointment – An Introduction

The Editor delivers on this month’s theme.

Disappointment

This month’s theme is somewhat in the nature of a BBC Radio quiz. The subject itself is quite straightforward, and has overtones of both last month’s theme as well as the actualities of the so-called Season of Goodwill. It is ‘Disappointment’. The motor industry has always offered us high expectations, even more so now, when just changing the position of the rear view mirror will elicit two gushingly incoherent paragraphs from the PR department. Yet, on innumerable occasions, the industry fails to deliver on its promises. Continue reading “Theme : Disappointment – An Introduction”