Der Gentleman

The BMW 8 series’ creators try and make sense of the new Ultimate Bavarian.

I have an almost personal connection to the new BMW Achter. Having seen the preliminary concept car at last year’s Frankfurt Motor Show, I initially considered it a half-hearted Aston Martin pastiche. Then the production version was unveiled, which has no hope of ever being considered an Aston Martin pastiche. Instead, it heralds a new era of BMW style, hilariously named Precision and Poetry.

Since then, this rather blunt Achter has welcomed me whenever I have cause to Continue reading “Der Gentleman”

So Much Water, So Close to Home

The ‘first ever’ BMW X7 is amongst us and isn’t it just swell?

(c) BMW

There are increasing concerns for the wellbeing of storied carmaker, Bayerische Motoren Werke following recent revelations that the marque has been diagnosed with a virulent and potentially incurable form of hydronephrosis.

This is a condition where one or both kidneys Continue reading “So Much Water, So Close to Home”

Micropost: Two BMWs

BMW have presented the G20 iteration of their long-running 3-series saloon. Autocar very kindly put images of the new car (blue) up against the outgoing car (not blue).

2019 BMW 3-series and the outgoing car: source

Last night as I was writing my comprehensive and thorough report on the 2018 Paris Mondiale, it occurred to me that I might do a new/old comparison of the car. I also considered doing a short design review. I didn’t because I had the intuition it would be rather too much work to say anything about something so slight. Continue reading “Micropost: Two BMWs”

Zed’s Dead

BMW has a new styling direction. Heaven help us…

(c) BMW UK

I had been my intention to ignore the introduction of the new BMW Z4, given that last year’s concept Z4 had already lent a strong inkling as to the direction BMW were taking. Couple this to the götterdämmerung afflicting BMW’s FIZ under the tepid design leadership of Adrian van Hooydonk and the last scintilla of doubt had already ran screaming from the building with a fit of the vapours.

When BMW announced the unlovely 8-Series earlier this year many of us marvelled at how it was possible to Continue reading “Zed’s Dead”

Black Puty

Some years ago, a German poultry giant tried to add a whiff of luxury to cold cuts. Today, BMW is attempting something eerily similar. 

black-puty1.jpg
‘Black Puty, are you trying to seduce me?’ photo (c) Wiesenhof

The German word for turkey is Pute (poo-tuh).

This needs to be kept in mind when envisaging a tv commercial playing to the tunes of Ram Jam’s Black Betty, advertising turkey cold cuts by the name of Black Puty. If this sounds utterly absurd, it is not due to cultural misunderstandings – for Black Puty is an utterly daft monicker, regardless of whether one’s mother tongue is German or English.

The company behind Black Puty is Wiesenhof, a German meat industry giant. And a company that, in 2010, when Black Puty was introduced, had even more of an image problem than it does eight years later. First of all, turkey meat never Continue reading “Black Puty”